For many years in the past I wanted to live a different life. I wanted to be someone else. Many times I watched people who are recognized around the world in popular TV shows and movies, checked their social media profiles. I wished I had been exactly like them – look similar, behave identically, eat and drink the same things, go on holidays to the exact places, etc. You get the message.
Firstly, I was jealous that other people seem to have better lives than I did. Secondly, I was comparing my job with other people’s jobs. Thirdly, I was comparing the amount of money I was making with other people’s earnings. And fourthly, I continuously thought that no great things would ever happen to me.
And, I was always unhappy, almost every day. The constant feeling of being worse than others was not nice. I felt that everything was disappointing about my life. At some point, I lost confidence and stopped believing in myself, although my life has actually been full of great things.
I have a loving wife and we have been happily married for almost 10 years. Additionally, I do not have any addictions like smoking (I quit smoking long time ago, you can quit smoking too), drugs or alcohol. I try to take care of my body by exercising and eating healthy food. Also, I do not have any debt (I actually save quite a lot). I try to make mindful life decisions. And so on, and so on.
As I grew older and started looking back at my previous life experiences in my twenties, past jobs, friendships or lack of friends, disappointments and successes, I have changed the way how I think about my life these days. Maybe I have grown up. Maybe.
I have realized that many of the same things that happen to me every day also happen to other people. But, others simply do not talk much about mundane matters of their everyday life. And, if you only look at nice pictures which people post on social media or their blogs or websites, you will rarely see any ordinary problems that each and every one of us has.
Many people these days try to become a celebrity and become famous. And, rarely in mass media you will find solutions to the problems that people struggle with every day. People tend to share the nicer side of their lives and keep the worse one to themselves.
But, the truth is that those ordinary situations make up the majority of our time every day. And, each and every one of us experiences similar situations throughout our lives. For example, first day at school as small children, dating the first girlfriend or a boyfriend, graduation from college, getting married, buying the first house or apartment, having children, death of relatives, enjoying grandchildren, our own death. While everyone is different and every one of us is unique, there are so many things that we all have in common.
We also share similar life choices. For example, where to go to school, whom to get married to (or whether to stay single), to take the mortgage or maybe to save money first and buy a property later on, whether to learn how to cook healthy food or continue eating junk food, to have children or not, etc.
After several years into adulthood, I have realized that what makes me different from other people is my strong determination to constantly increase quality of my life by improving ordinary things, not trying to becoming one of the celebrities.
If you want to be someone else, please stop for your own sake. Stop comparing yourself to others, but think about the special characteristics that define who you really are. Find your Unique Selling Point (USP), listen to your heart, be honest with yourself and do things that make your truly happy.
Fancy social media accounts do not really represent your goodness. It is positive actions that do. Because at the end of the day, the most important thing in our lives is to create our own reality in which we are truly good people who do good things. Only in this way we can be truly happy. Nothing else really matters.
